The Moment That Changed My Life!

Summary

It was Christmas Day, 1984, and the narrator's family gathered for dinner in their snowy Midwest home, acutely aware of their father's absence from the table due to his advanced battle with cancer. Despite the surreal atmosphere, the family found moments of laughter and connection, with their father occasionally calling out from his bedside to ask what they were eating. After the meal, the family was called to his bedside, where the ailing father asked his son, Byron, and daughter-in-law, Crystal, if they were pursuing God's will for their lives. This poignant moment, especially significant given Byron's previously strained relationship with his father, culminated in the father declaring a powerful blessing of freedom and affirmation over their lives and ministry, a moment that profoundly impacted Byron and remains a cherished memory of receiving his father's favor.

The Story

He was fighting cancer.

It was Christmas Day of 1984. It was early afternoon when we usually had our Christmas dinner and, it was, as I remember, a snowy day at least there was snow on the ground. We were at our family home just outside of a small town in the Midwest.

My dad, at that time, was facing a serious illness. He had been fighting cancer for several months and had come to a point where he was bedridden. It wasn’t fun for the family at the moment but he insisted that we continue with our Christmas meal. He was unable to join us. That was a very strange and surreal feeling not to have him sitting at the head of our table and pouring the wine, carving the turkey, and telling us his latest bad puns. But we gathered nonetheless and even in the midst we found ourselves laughing and joking and of course eating. It was interesting because every once in a while, dad would call out, “What are you eating now?” And one of us would respond with what we were eating at the moment. Usually, it began with a heartfelt, “One of your favorites, dad.” His favorite favorite, as is mine, was dessert. He loved pecan pie, at least that’s what I remember. And of course, when we got to dessert he called out, “What’s for dessert?” The response was, “Your favorite dad, pecan pie ala mode!” It was an unsettling moment in our lives. At least in mine.

As we finished our meal dad called us all to his bedside. Now I’m going to tell my version of the story. How I remember the moment. What I took away from it and what I gained from it. Because that moment changed my life. I don’t know if it changed anyone else in my family, but it was a moment in my life I will never forget. How could I forget such an amazing happening, a personal moment, an inspired moment? I don’t believe it would be possible for any of us.

As we gathered around the bed, not knowing this would be the last time we would all be together as a family, he asked me a simple question. “Byron, are you doing what you believe God has asked you to do?” Personally, I was surprised by the question. It was the last thing I expected that afternoon. And with sincerity, I answered, “Ya dad, I am doing what I’m supposed to be doing.” He then turned his look to Crystal, and asked her the question, “Is that right Crystal, is Byron doing what God has asked him to do?” My dad had a high respect for my wife. He trusted her. He knew me. He knew I could fudge the truth. He knew I could create and sell my ideas, my thoughts, my ways. But Crystal, she would be straight with him. And so, with a little trepidation, I waited for her answer. Because you know our partners they can tell the truth and see right through us most of the time. They can see right through the fake and into the depths of our hearts. And they’ll speak right into that heart issue. Crystal looked dad in the face, and said, “Dad, we are doing what God has asked us to do.”

Let’s step back and look at my relationship with my dad up until only a few short months before. My dad had hopes for me to be doing something far different than what I was doing. I had always tried to follow my heart and go after the things I believed in. This isn’t the best way to impress your parents. Well, at least not my parents. My dad was the officer of a company and he carried some influence in the small town where we lived. And I always felt like I had something to live up to. I always felt like I needed to prove myself to my dad. But I never seemed to do it the way it best fit him, and there was some ruffling of the feathers between us. I think it had more to do with both of our expectations. And like most fathers and sons there were some difficult moments. Strained moments. So, what happened next was a great surprise to me and as I said before, it changed my life.

Let’s recall the scene; We are gathered around my dad, what now in hindsight was the last month of his life. As a family gathered together having been asked a serious question, it requested an honest answer. And we did answer honestly. I remember him looking up at all of us as a family and saying, in a firm and yet kind manner, “If Byron and Crystal are doing what they’re supposed to be doing - THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE!” He declared over our lives that day, as a father of our family, maybe even knowing that he didn’t have that much time left, he pronounced into Crystal and me a freedom, a blessing, a father’s blessing.

It was then that he took our hands, Crystal and I, and he began to pray. He prayed a prayer of blessing over our lives, over the work of our Lives, over the ministry of our Lives. That Christmas Day 1984 I received my father’s blessing. I received my dad’s favor at that moment. I received a declaration over my life that very hour, and I received a prayer of blessing over Crystal and me that day. I don’t know if there’s any greater earthly honor than to receive the blessing of your father. To receive a blessing from a father to his child, that releases freedom, honor, and hope into our lives. It was months after his passing that I had a private conversation with a friend that reminded me of how many people never receive their earthly father’s blessing.

I am glad that we have a heavenly father who cares deeply about us. He loves us so much that his blessing is always for us, to us, and with us. Your heavenly Father is without a doubt the best Dad that there can be. But he is unseen and we often don’t sense or feel that blessing. We have doubts and miss giving's about his love for us. His acceptance of us. 

Do you believe you have received your father’s blessing or do you sense a separation from your father? In your heart and spirit is there something missing when you think of your father? An internal tug and desire to be closer. Let’s change that right now.

I believe when we receive something significant in our lives, we can impart this to others. To release that which we have received. I have a father’s blessing. My earthly father’s blessing. It is a rare thing to actually hear the words of blessing from our earthly dads. But I have it. So, I get to give it away! I get to take that which has been bestowed on me and transfer that to you, so you receive a father’s blessing. If you would like to know more scripturally about your Father's blessing be looking for a post coming soon.

Key Takeaway

On Christmas Day in 1984, as my father lay bedridden, battling cancer, he gave me a gift that changed my life forever. Despite his illness, we gathered for our Christmas meal, a bittersweet moment without him at the head of the table. Yet, even from his room, he joined us in spirit, calling out to ask what we were eating.

After the meal, we gathered around his bedside, unaware it would be the last time we were all together as a family. He looked at me, Byron, and asked a simple, yet profound question: "Byron, are you doing what you believe God has asked you to do?" Surprised, I answered, "Ya dad, I am doing what I’m supposed to be doing." But he didn't stop there. He turned to my wife, Crystal, whom he deeply respected and trusted, and asked her the same question. With a slight tremor, I waited for her honest response, knowing she saw straight into my heart. Crystal confirmed, "Dad, we are doing what God has asked us to do."

This moment was especially significant because my relationship with my dad had often been strained. He had different hopes for me, and I had always pursued my own path, leading to misunderstandings and "ruffling of feathers" between us. I constantly felt the need to prove myself, but never in a way that seemed to fit his expectations.

What happened next was a profound surprise. My dad, in his final month of life, looked at our family gathered around him and, in a firm yet kind voice, declared, "If Byron and Crystal are doing what they’re supposed to be doing - THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE!" In that instant, he pronounced a blessing over our lives, a father's blessing that released freedom, honor, and hope.

He then took Crystal's and my hands and prayed a powerful prayer of blessing over our lives, our work, and our ministry. That Christmas Day, I received my father's blessing, his favor, and a declaration that has shaped me ever since. There is no greater earthly honor than to receive such a blessing from your father. It releases incredible freedom, honor, and hope into your life.

This experience taught me the immense value of a father's blessing, something many people never receive. While we are blessed with a Heavenly Father whose love and acceptance are constant, an earthly father's blessing is a tangible affirmation that deeply impacts us. Having received this rare and precious gift from my own dad, I am now compelled to share it. I believe that what we receive, we can also impart to others. I want to release this father's blessing to you, transferring what was bestowed upon me so that you, too, can experience the freedom, honor, and hope it brings.

Here are three key questions, a prayer, and a call to action

Three Key Questions

1. Have you received a "father's blessing," either from an earthly father figure or from a spiritual source, and how has it impacted your sense of freedom and purpose?

2. In what ways might our expectations of ourselves and others create strain in relationships, and how can we move towards acceptance and genuine support?

3. How do you discern and pursue what you believe you are "supposed to be doing," especially when it diverges from the expectations of those around you?

A Prayer

Heavenly Father, we thank You for Your unending love and the constant blessing You pour into our lives, even when we don't always perceive it. We pray for those who long for an earthly father's blessing, for a sense of affirmation, freedom, and honor. Heal any wounds of separation and fill any void with Your perfect love and acceptance. Help us to bravely follow the path You've set before us, trusting in Your guidance and finding strength in Your unwavering support. May we, in turn, be conduits of blessing to others, sharing the grace and acceptance we have received. Amen.

Call to Action

Reflect on your own relationship with your father or a significant paternal figure. If you feel a "missing" or a desire for a deeper connection or blessing, consider taking a step towards addressing it. This could involve an honest conversation, a moment of personal reflection, or seeking spiritual guidance. Furthermore, consider how you can impart a sense of blessing, freedom, and affirmation to others in your life, echoing the profound impact a "father's blessing" can have.