Abandoned: The Sacred Shift from 'For' to 'To'

Mom and Me: You have the power to change

As a boy and then into early adulthood, my mom always encouraged me to go after what seemed impossible. If there were a girl that I wanted to ask out, she would say, "Go ask her, Byron, all she can say is 'NO.' If I were frustrated with a life situation, she would, with her encouragement, push me out the door of frustration and through the door of action. "If you don’t like it, Byron, change it!” There were some good lessons in this, and it's made me able to step into places and opportunities I probably wouldn't have taken without her prompting.

Introduction: The Western Disease of "Next"

In our Western culture, we are conditioned to be problem-solvers. If a room is too cold, we turn up the heat. If we don’t like our job, we browse LinkedIn. If we are unhappy in a season of life, we assume something is "broken" and needs to be "fixed."

We have developed a theology of entitlement—the belief that if we are uncomfortable, we are entitled to change our circumstances immediately. But as we look at Scripture, we have to ask a difficult question: Is our primary calling to change our situation, or to be changed by it?

Introduction: The Western Disease of "Next"

The Bible speaks a language that feels foreign to our consumer-driven hearts.

Luke 12:15 warns us: "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." * 1 Timothy 6:6-8 takes it further, stripping life down to its barest essentials: "But godliness with contentment is great gain... if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."

Paul, writing from a prison cell, gives us the famous words of Philippians 4:11-13. He says he has "learned the secret" of being content in any situation, whether well-fed or hungry. We often quote verse 13—"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"—as a slogan for achieving our goals. But in context, Paul is saying Christ gives him the strength to endure his current circumstances, not necessarily to escape them.

The "To" vs. the "For"

We often want to do things for God. We want to advocate for a cause, build a ministry, or "do" something significant. The word "For" implies purpose and advocacy; it is active and outward-facing.

But there is a more foundational word: "To." Before we can be abandoned for God’s purposes, we must be abandoned to God Himself. To be abandoned to Him signifies a total surrender and union. It is the realization that we are not our own.

In the Western church, when we feel discontented, our immediate reaction is to "do" something to fix it. We move straight to the "For." But our first call is always the "To"—the act of abandoning ourselves to His sovereignty. As the saying goes: We cannot be abandoned for Him without first being abandoned to Him.

Is it Time to Change, or Time to Stay?

How do we know if a difficult situation is a "closed door" we should walk away from, or a "blessing" in disguise intended to refine us?

Hebrews 13:5 gives us the anchor: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"

The indicator isn't our comfort level; it’s our proximity to Him. If our desire to change our circumstances is born out of an entitled heart that says, "I deserve better," we are likely running from a lesson God wants to teach us. If we haven't first sought His will, we are merely practicing self-preservation, not discipleship.

In Conclusion: The Call to Surrender and the blessing received isn't always found in the exit strategy. Sometimes, the blessing is the furnace itself.

Before we try to change your circumstances, ask: "Am I abandoned to God in this moment?" If we are truly surrendered to His will, we may find that the "change" we're looking for wasn’t a change of scenery, but a change of heart.

My mom had it right some of the time. Her only goal was to help me learn to be bold and brave. But always going out to change my circumstances led me to believe I should change them whenever I want. I had to stop trying to manage my life for God and start surrendering it to Him. This then led me to contentment that the world can neither give nor take away.

Transform Your Perspective in 7 Days

​We all face moments where we want to run from our "discomforts." But what if those very challenges are where God wants to meet us? I’m inviting you to join the "Stay and Surrender" Challenge.

​The goal is simple but profound: shift from saying "Change my circumstances" to "I surrender to You." By identifying one area of friction in your life and committing to a 7-day journey of contentment, you'll discover a peace that isn't dependent on your situation.

Equip Your Ministry:

The Leaders Study Guide is now available to help you walk you through this challenge. ​It includes:

• 8 ​Discussion Questions to break the ice.

• The 7 Day "Stay and Surrender" Challenge

• ​Actionable Frameworks for immediate implementation.

• ​Reflection Exercises for personal growth.

Don’t just learn in isolation—lead the way. CLICK HERE to download your Leaders Study Guide and start the conversation today.

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